


Let me help you

by wishfulwriter



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 01:36:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16863769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishfulwriter/pseuds/wishfulwriter
Summary: Michael needs help after he gets out of prison, but will he accept it?





	1. Chapter 1

I let out a deep sigh when I finally hear Polly start to snore. I’ve been trying to get her to go to sleep for the past hour and now she’s finally asleep. Since the boys and Polly got out of prison Michael and I were the only ones who still had regular contact with Tommy. We have been trying to keep everyone somewhat together, but Michael is haunted by what happened in the prison and the added pressure of taking care of his mother is way too much. I try to help as much as possible and it kills me that I can’t get Polly back on her feet and I can’t help Michael off the cocaine and I have to admit that it’s starting to take it’s toll on me too.

When I’m sure Polly is fast asleep I turn off the light in her bedroom and make my way downstairs to clean up. After about half an hour the front door opens and a few seconds later Michael walks into the room. I give him a weak smile as I walk towards him. “Hey.” I mutter as I place my hands on his chest.

Michael hums in response and his hands land on my hips as he presses a short kiss on my lips. “She asleep?” He asks when he pulls away and I nod as I slide my hands up to his shoulders. “Lets go back to my place then. You need to sleep.” He says as he lets go of me and goes to grab my coat.

I quickly put away some more stuff before Michael appears in front of me with my coat. I let him help me into it before I follow him to the door, turning off the lights on our way out. Michael opens the car door for me before he walks around it and gets in himself. “How was work?” I ask him when he starts the car and I move a little closer to his side. “How’s Tommy?”

He shrugs as he turns onto the road. “The same.” He tells me while I observe him. He’s been working late again and though I’m not able to see his eyes very well in the dark I’m pretty sure he used cocaine again. He uses it to stay awake because he dreams about what happened whenever he sleeps. It breaks my heart that it has come to this and what makes it worse is that he keeps saying he’ll figure it out on his own.

“And how are you?” I ask him as I place a hand on his leg. I see him take deep breath and he briefly squeezes my hand before he moves it back to the steering wheel.

“The same.” He repeats as he glances at me. “What about you? You’ve been asking far too much of yourself.” He furrows his eyebrows as he pulls into his street.

“You don’t have to worry about me, Michael.” I lightly shake my head as he stops in front of his house. I get out before he can open the door for me, which causes him to frown slightly as he walks to his door.

“I think I do.” He says as he opens the door and lets me in first. “You’re not sleeping well and spending that much time at mum’s isn’t doing you much good either.” He says as he takes off his coat before he turns to help me with mine, but I already took it off. This results in another frown. “And you don’t let me do anything for you anymore.”

I shrug as I hang up my coat. “I just don’t want to add anything else to your plate. You have enough going on without having to do things for me and I can take my own coat off just fine, you know.” I explain as I step through to the kitchen. “Besides.” I start as I glance at him over my shoulder. “How would you know if I’m sleeping or not.”

The question comes out a bit harsher than intended and Michael looks down before he sits down in a kitchen chair. We haven’t slept in the same bed since he got out of prison. At first I understood that he needed some space to get everything sorted out in his head, and I thought he would realise he couldn’t do this on his own and come back to me. But that didn’t happen and now he tells me he won’t share a bed with me because he doesn’t want to wake me up with one of his nightmares.

“Some nights I hear you walking around and you don’t look like you’re well rested in the morning.” He explains as he looks up at me. “You can’t let this family ruin you, Y/N, it’s ruined enough.” He sighs as he drops his gaze back to the floor. “I’m not worth it.” He mutters.

“You are.” I sigh as I sit down on the floor in front of him. “I love you, Michael.” I tell him as I reach up to cup his face. “That hasn’t changed, you just have to let me help you.” I plead as I watch him close his eyes.

His hands come to rest on top of mine and he turns his head slightly to kiss the palm of my hand. “I love you too.” He breaths out as he opens his eyes again. They’re slightly watery as he fights the tears. “But I don’t think anyone can help me more than you’re already doing.” He sniffs before he pulls away from me and clears his throat as he sits up.

“Stay with me tonight.” I say softly as I take a hold of his hand. He’s about to speak up and undoubtedly protest but I beat him to it. “Please, Michael. I miss you.” I whisper the last part as I’m now fighting tears of my own. It’s not the first time I’ve asked him, but I’ve reached a breaking point of my own since the last time we talked about this. I don’t want to put more on his plate, but I need him next to me.

He stares down at me with a somber expression that has been etched on his face for a year now. “Alright.” He sighs.


	2. Chapter 2

Dinner was mostly spent in silence and I started to wonder if I had pushed Michael too much, that he wasn’t ready to stay with me tonight. But when would he be ready? He can’t keep pulling away so when we make our way upstairs and he hesitates to enter the bedroom, I take his hand and gently pull him inside.

He lets out a small sigh as he follows me inside and we get ready for bed. I get in first and patiently wait for him to get in next to me. When he finally does I move a little closer to him but don’t touch him because I don’t want to push him too much, and because of a slight fear of rejection.

My fear is quickly taken away when he reaches out to touch me. “Come here.” He mutters as he slips his arm around my waist. “If you’re going to lay that far away from me it’s no use for us to stay in the same bed.” He adds as I place my head on his chest and drape one of my arms over his torso.

A small smile makes its way onto my face when I feel him press a kiss to the top of my head as he pulls me a little closer. I kiss his chest in response and I finally let myself relax. For the first time in about a year I let go of all the tension in my body as I melt into Michael’s arms and I slowly let sleep wash over me.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep when I wake up because Michael suddenly sits up. It takes me a moment to realize what is going on, but when I hear him panting and I see sweat glistening on his back I know it must have been a nightmare.

I sit up slowly and gently place a hand on his arm, not wanting to startle him. It scares him slightly none the less, but the look in his eyes slightly softens when he sees it’s me. “Sorry.” He shakily says as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have stayed with you, you need to sleep.” He adds as he makes a move to get out of bed.

I hold onto his hand and tug him back down. He reluctantly gets back under the covers and I move one of my hands over his back in soothing motions as I hold onto his hand with the other. “I haven’t slept this well in months.” I mutter as I kiss his bare shoulder before glancing at the clock. “And it’s five o’clock so we almost made it through the night.” I softly say against his skin. Michael finally catches his breath and places his hand on my leg under the covers. “It’s alright, Michael.” I try to assure him as I glue myself to his side.

He finally looks at me and I’m slightly taken back when I see that his eyes are watery; I’ve never seen him cry. He takes his hand off my leg to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me into his chest. His other arm wraps around me as well as he hides his face in the crook of my neck. I wrap my arms around him in return as I try to sooth him. “I’m sorry.” He breaths out once again.

“Don’t be.” I tell him as I move one of my hands up to thread my fingers through his hair. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” I add as I pull back slightly to look into his eyes and I place my hands on either side of his face. “I love you.” I mutter as I lean in to kiss him.

Michael’s hands move up and down my back as he kisses me back. “I love you too.” He mutters when we pull back.


End file.
